Receiving a naughty text from boyfriend or girlfriend is always fun and excites us in just a few seconds. So if you too want to warm your darling by SMS send him one of the following sexy goodnight messages. Success guaranteed! No guy or girl can resist an SMS like that.
- I bought a new bra today. I really need your opinion. Are you coming home?
- Today I go shopping all day. I am a BAD GIRL. I think you’ll have to spank me tonight.
- I would like to lick you everywhere right now. Does it not bother you?
- Do not spend too much on your football game. Guards in for me for tonight …
- I am in a fitting room. I’m wearing only a little thing …
- No interesting movies on TV. Do you have any other ideas of what I could do in the dark?
- You were so sexy in this shirt yesterday. I wanted to unbutton her and caress your chest before going down a little lower …
- Honey, I need a bottle of wine and cheese for our dinner tonight. A and while you’re there, buy whipped cream, I may need it tonight to cover your chest.
- I need a sex slave for tonight. Are you available?
- That night I could not sleep. I wanted to feel your hot body against my skin. I wanted to feel your hands playing with my body. But you were not there. I miss you.
- I wish you were with me in my room, in my bed with me. I am naked under my sheets and I think of you.
- Last night I wanted you and wanted so much. I wanted to feel you close to me, I wanted to feel you in me, you excite me so much.
Sending Funny Messages Guarantees Fantastic Results.
A dominant form of communication is by sending funny messages. Amazing variations are available here. Stop being a loser and become popular today!
I am from the mean streets of Toronto – a minor road where a kid sometimes falls off his bike. Throughout life, there were very important questions which never got answered. Here they are.
- Why wasn’t I born a pirate?
- How does marriage become stale when it’s not food?
- Which clown borrowed my wife last night?
This site contains valuable material. Unlike other sites, the humor here has been created by me. The best part is everything has been tested with positive results. Comedy can help you become an exciting person in many ways. I provide you with the information you will not find on other sites.
What are the benefits?
- Your popularity increases
- You can develop additional career options
- There’s a greater chance at succeeding in job interviews
- And help build a positive attitude in others
All this can be done in an assortment of ways. That includes by email, text, phone, public speaking, and many more. Have fun and enjoy yourself!
Can you imagine if Earth and Mars had a head-on collision? I bet no insurance company would take up on that disaster!
My 3 Quick Tips To Naughty Texting
Tip #1: Make your texts short
You don’t have to send a long message to get your guy’s attention and get him hot n bothered. A burst of sexy text
bantering back n forth is more fun and gives your guy an opportunity to “play along.”
Tip #2: Make it oh so personal
It’s hotter when you create personal and unique texts that include things that are unique about your guy; that you notice about
him; that turn him on and that turns you on. These texts are like sharing your little secret together.
Tip #3: Make it VIVID
The more vivid and graphic your sexy texts are, the hotter they will be. You want to implant vivid sexual images in your guy’s
mind. Think like a steamy romance novelist who uses sexy words like throbbing, pulsating, shivering, huge, and the like
Use funny messages in everyday situations.
NOTE – This site is being completely modified. Yes, it’s a lot of hard work. Sometimes I must say this site deserves a spanking from all the trouble it gives me!
One thing I’m planning on having is a blog. Yes, I’m trying to be as cool as all the other sites out there. The only problem is creating one is a lot of hard work. Ninja training is required for such a task. Once I figure it all out, you may finally laugh!
Ha. HAHA… ha…
How To Be Funny
– Yes, I Want To Help!
Welcome to the how to be a funny page. There’s a question I have for you. Who do you prefer to hang out with more?
- A quiet person who has no personality.
- Or the life of the party who can make you laugh hard nonstop?
I choose to hang around the life of the party more. They’re more exciting. That’s why learning how to be funny can benefit your life!
Very few people live a funny and amusing life. These same people are the ones who see the funniest comics perform at local comedy clubs. Comedians have the ability to make anyone feel good. The question is do you have that same ability?
I think you do. We know to stand up comedians receive tons of praise from the audiences. The jokes and one-liner used to create laughter. It’s safe to say comedy is a really popular subject in today’s world.
Throughout life, I was just like everyone else being treated as a non-interesting person. That was until I started using humor in my life activities.
I learned it’s best to use strange lines and unusual jokes at the most random of times. That may explain why My Funny Messages exists. I created this site to share with you my hobby and that’s making people laugh.
Have you ever called anyone and left a ridiculous voicemail message? What about a humorous text message? How about answered the phone by saying something insane other than “Hello?”
These are the moments where you have the opportunity to generate tons of laughs and to make yourself appear superior. This is where you can attract members of the opposite sex with your amazing personality.
This site will be updated constantly. Each day I will be sitting on the toilet with a notepad and pen to think of new lines to use in different situations.
Funny Yo Mama Jokes – Today’s Special
Welcome to the debut of my homemade funny yo mama jokes. One thing I’ve always wanted to know is who invented this category of humor? I will eventually put my supercharged brain at maximum power and try to figure it out.
Dave is trying to use his brain. The spider webs must be cleaned off before going any further.
Forget about that idea. Cleaning the brain is too much work. Getting paid for it would be a different story. Yes, I’m just as greedy as everyone else.
Steve went to pick up his girlfriend. The both of them were going to a party. Steve is a bit overweight and sometimes people tease him about it. Anyways, when he arrived at the house, he received a greeting from Angela.
Angela: Your mother’s so dumb, it took her 92 minutes to watch 60 minutes!
The best part about this is Steve’s girlfriend started laughing at him. Now that’s what I call an awesome girlfriend! Steve was surprised by that joke & needed to come up with a better one.
Steve: Your mother’s so fat, she can fuel up my car from her ass!
This time his girlfriend was laughing with him, not at him. Angela then realized Steve has the ability to create awesome jokes. She was curious to find out how she can be just as good.
Later that night she approached Steve and said “You’re pretty good with your mom jokes. How did you become so good?” Steve replied, “I went to My Funny Messages!”
Yeah, that’s right. You did not read it from me. Welcome to my funny yo mama jokes. This page isn’t dedicated to providing you with all sorts of yo mama jokes. All it does is provide you with the table of contents for the pages that contain the jokes.
Stand Up Comedy – Being funny in front of people.
In stand up comedy, 2 things make a person funny.
- The Body Language – Voice, facial expression, body movements.
- What Is Being Said
The Body Language
Picture a stand-up comedian standing up straight expressing no body language at all. During this boring moment, he says the following.
The chicken crossed the road and got ran over by a car. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Now imagine a guy who has TONS of energy and his body moves all over the place.
The chicken crossed the road (His arms are shaking in the air).. and got RAN (He jumped up as he shouted that) over by a FREAKIN (He’s vibrating) CAR! muAHAHAHAHAHHAHA (He’s laughing like a madman who’s going to take over the world!)
Now if you pictured both situations correctly, you would see that the energy filled comedian was funny. To learn more, check out my Funny Body Language page.
What Is Being Said
Whatever you say in a monotone voice will not be funny. I’ve mentioned before that some professional comedians talk about true facts of what’s wrong with the world today. Watching the news will give some ideas on what you can talk about that relates to the world. Need more ideas? Here’s one.
- Find a painful situation to talk about. Do you have a friend who accidentally banged his foot into something and screamed really loud?
What I learned from painful situations is it’s not what happens that is funny. It’s the clumsy persons’ reaction that’s funny! Think of a cartoon character slipping on a banana peel. I bet you can imagine what his reaction would be.
When others experience pain it’s always funny. When we experience it, it always hurts. The lesson here is never experienced pain!
Funny Insults… Made For The Strong!
People who use funny insults get laid. Now there’s a huge secret I need to tell you.. After doing some thinking, I came to the conclusion that, I lied!
That intro was a brilliant master plan to get you on this page. I feel like a supervillain now. It’s time to celebrate.
Now bring me back to reality. The purpose of this section is to show you what I have used in this category. I find using this stuff is necessary because
- Everyone needs to stand up for themselves.
- It shows you are a tough person who doesn’t back down.
- It helps you get noticed by crowds.
Using these does not bring the best out of people. Some people do get offended & that’s why they should be more on the funny than the offensive side. Every insult you use on someone is your own responsibility.
I have used a few in my past and got people offended. I learned from my mistakes and made some lines which bring the better side out of people. The point is not everyone has a sense of humor. Some people may not respond to a line as well as others.
Listed below are the sections of lines I have used. My main purpose of posting these was to entertain you. If you decide to use any on people, it’s your responsibility!
Here are my Funny Insults.
That should keep you entertained for another few minutes. I also have a funny comebacks page filled with lines you can use in many different situations.
Here are my Funny Comebacks for random situations.
These sections will be updated over time when I come up with new material. The important thing to remember is you’re a person. I’m pretty sure you figured that out on your own.
Always stick up for yourself. When you are seen as a weak person mentally, everyone else will view the same about you. That’s where funny insults & comebacks come in place. No one can be sexier than a strong person.
Really Funny Stuff – I Said So!
My really funny stuff needs a spanking!
That is not true. I lied again. My plan worked though. The headline above got your attention & you came crashing in.
What a shame.
This page is dedicated to tons of information my brain produces in the strangest moments. This section will be like a blog. I will be posting true & false information here.
Now you ask “Which ones are true?”
Well, that is for you to figure out. Yes, my site requires a lot of thinking. That’s not a bad thing though.
There’s just one more thing I need to say.
- Urinating is fun!
And this is where you say
- It sure is!
Want quick laughs? Check out my Funny Short Stories for a few ‘Quick’ laughs. HAHAHA – That was hilarious!
And here are stories which are 55% true and 23% false.
- The Three Way Dance At Dinner
- Walking Outdoors Can Teach You Things
- The Superbowl Weekend
Funny Phone Messages… Are Rare!
There are rumors that funny phone messages are really popular. Of they are. You made it up! I saw a book in the store. It contains information about an expert who has people calling him every day just to listen to his voicemail. Now, what loser out there wants to hog all the men and women from us?
About 5.2 years ago I never understood why people never called me back. I always reached peoples voicemail and never got a callback. My only thought was they fell down the toilet every time and the phone fell with them.
Well, I have breaking news for you. That never happened. No one fell down the toilet. Apparently, people don’t call back because of a few reasons.
- You don’t give them a good enough reason to call you back.
- Your message was too boring.
I used to be the king of boring and I know you are right now. After discovering how to be interesting I was getting responses. The same can happen to you!
How People Tell Jokes
Lewis Black (master of unpredictability) plays the role of a pissed off person. He always complains about issues going on around the world. Why is he funny?
- What he says are true facts. The audience laughs because they know it’s true.
- He mentions everything as if a psycho was saying it. His character is convincing and that’s funny. Watching his “Black on Broadway” episode is basically an educational course on how to be funny in person.
Russell Peters imitates people of different cultures perfectly. Good imitations are funny. Bad imitations can come across as funny. The reason why it can happen is that people laugh at how dumb it is.
Developing a character for your material is the key. That’s perfect for when trying to be funny in public. Certain characters reveal stories that can be used in jokes.
A while back a friend in high school told us a story of him and his friend watching pirate porn. He said the pirate was holding a plastic gun and someone accidentally hit it and it broke. He then imitated the pirate and said “ARGHHH… Look what you did!”
Where From Porn
Quote: “ARGHHH. Look what you did!”
That was a highlight I’ll never forget. It will be inducted into the porn hall of fame.
I was determined to learn tips on being funny. Then I read an ebook called How To Be Funny and learned so many new easy tips I would LOVE to share with you right now, but I prefer avoiding lawsuits.
Learning how to be funny can have a positive influence on your life. Just remember, all comedians were no names and they made a choice to learn how to be funny. Look where it got them today!
Funny Text Messages – More Fun Than Talking To Yourself!
The bottom line is funny text messages are extinct. Millions are being sent each year and hardly any of them contain humor. Why are there too many serious people on this planet? Now it’s time for you to get excited. This is where you will find out what the hype is all about.
Many text messages are being sent each day because
You can’t get a hold of the person.
You don’t feel like talking.
You are a big fan of pushing buttons.
Everyone loves to send these when they’re bored. This is where you will become cool by making yours hilarious.
Hurry up & view my Free Funny Text Messages!
Due to requests from my lovely friends, I have created something that can help people pick up others. That’s right, here are my Sexy Text Messages
And if you have someone attracted to you and want some ideas on how to possibly turn them on more, check out my Dirty Text Messages
We would love to hang out with loved ones all the time. The problem is jobs & other responsibilities get in the way. It gets harder to put time towards family & friends. Since life is like that, send funny messages to everyone. Not only you will entertain them, but also let them know you still remember them.
That’s how my life is & you can do the same. You only live life once. Make the most of it!